At last I am so excited that it is finally here. This event has been in the works for over two months. It all began in October when I was browsing my favorite Goodreads Group called Bookspark hosted by my friend Ana. I ran across a post by an author, Cambria Hebert looking for some bloggers to review her book and host her on her tour for her upcoming debut novel Masquerade.
At the time I was busy planning my blog and I already had a mounting TBR pile and several commitments so I thought I would pass. For some reason the notion kept niggling in my brain. A couple of days later I answered her and a friendship was born. We began exchanging emails. She told me about her upcoming short stories I recounted my efforts to build my blog and baking my failed Martha Stewart chocolate cookies. Many emails flew back and forth and here we are a few months later. My blog is finally a reality and her debut novel is now in print! I am pleased and proud to host her here on my blog and the best part of all, is that I consider her to be a good friend. Congratulations Cambria! You are an amazing person and I couldn't be happier for you. Here is to your continued success and many more novels. Many of you may already know Cambria since you have been following the tour but for you new comers let me tell you a little bit about her! This is Cambria opening her box and seeing her book in print for the very first time. The sheer joy on her face is priceless!
Alektorophobia -Fear of Chickens
Yes you heard it correctly. She is horrified by those cute little feathered birds that lay eggs!
She also has an insatiable thirst for lattes. Anything carmel flavored and you can count her in. She claims that Starbucks is the best coffee around but I think if I got her to visit the Pacific Northwest, I would change her mind. Since we have some amazing coffee out here, such as Dutch Brothers and Stumptown! She spends her days sipping lattes and typing away at her novels. Not! She is a wife and mother. So cooking, cleaning, shopping, hauling kids around, answering emails comes first and then she might have a few moments to sneak in some time to write!
She is married to a marine and is the mother of two adorable kids. When she isn't busy writing and drinking coffee she blogs; you can find her at her newly redesigned website cambriahebert.com
Please pop by and check out her site. She is running an awesome contest for a skeleton key pendant. Wait no scratch that, stop by and visit her site but don't enter that contest.... I have my heart set on that necklace! It is gorgeous! (no I am not inserting a picture here of that necklace).
You can also find her chatting with members of her Goodreads group, that she moderates called Creative Reviews. Feel free to head over there and meet many of her friends.
In the near future she will bring us three more books in the Heven and Hell series. The next will hopefully be out Spring of 2012. After that she hopes to publish a novel about her other favorite topic werewolves!
Ok you are probably wondering when I am going to be done rambling and want me to get to the good stuff,i.e. Cambria and the giveaway right?
Well I have a treat for you folks today. Instead of an interview or post about Masquerade, I decided to pick Cambria's brain and make her do something outside the box.
You are in for a surprise! Mrs. Hebert agreed to my request and she is going to come by and tell us a little tale. So welcome Cambria! Please have a seat. Just move Smokey Joe aside, he shouldn't be sitting on my nice, white blanket. I left you some coffee and cookies make yourself at home and tell us your little story.
Zombie Chickens by Cambria Hebert
I awoke to an odd sound. I didn’t want to get up lying beneath the sheets and burrowed under the comforter. My body’s internal clock was telling me it was so early that it wasn’t even natural for me to be awake.
But the sound was so odd that I couldn’t ignore it and drift back to sleep. I turned my head toward the single window in the room, it was still so early no light from the morning sun shone around the edges of the blind.
The sound was for sure coming from outside – in the dark – not really the dark of night but not yet of morning. It was that odd time of day – the transition from night to day.
The sound was constant – a sort of moaning whine. It changed in pitch off and it was going from loud to low but it sounded kind of lazy. It kind of sounded like crowing… a muffled, drawn out – drugged out – kind of crowing the rooster did in the morning when the sun was beginning to rise…
But that was crazy because rosters didn’t crow in the dark.
Unable to shake off the sound and the uneasy feeling it gave me I tossed off the covers and rolled out of bed pointing my sleep heavy body toward the bathroom. I was awake (sort of) and I had to pee. I shuffled into the bathroom not bothering with the light – I had been in here a thousand times before and knew what to navigate around.
I was only wearing a nightshirt so I pulled down my panties and sat down, flinching at the coldness of the hard toilet seat. I thought nothing of the splash I heard in the bowl beneath me – I was peeing after all.
There was a giant green snake hanging from my butt! I screamed again and this time the snaked hissed and unlatched its fangs from my behind. I took the chance and sprang away tripping because my panties were around my ankles. I looked back as I yanked up the pink and red cloth and noted the green snake slithering on the floor, a wet trail behind it. It had to be a good 3 feet long…
I thought toilet snakes were a joke.
I reached around, shoving my hand down where I had bitten and felt a stab of pain. I held my fingers up in front of my eyes – they were bloody. Were toilet snakes poisonous??
The snake hissed and I noted it was closing the distance between us.
I screamed and raced from the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I stared warily at the crack beneath the door wondering if the snake would squeeze beneath it.
“Go back to the toilet!” I hollered. As far as I was concerned I was never using that potty again.
The odd moaning sound distracted me and I went to the window and lifted the blind. I stared down into the yard – which was barely lightening with the first morning rays.
Every single chicken from the coop was out and wandering around in the yard. It was an odd sight because they stared straight ahead as they moved. They didn’t peck at the ground or look for food. They didn’t even look at one another. They stared off making that odd sound…
I raced down the stairs, sparing a quick look at the bathroom door. No sign of the toilet snake. I pushed open the kitchen door and ran out into the yard, the wet grass sticking to my bare feet. I slowed as I reached the chickens who were still staring off and making that not quite crowing sound.
Suddenly they all stopped. Silence reigned for mere seconds then all hell broke loose.
The spindly brown legs they stood on seemed to stretch and spin, their feathered, dirty wings reached out and they all turned toward me. That’s when I noticed their beady eyes. Hungry.
They let out a cawwwwww and then charged. I screamed. I had no idea that chickens moved so fast.
They came racing at me, snapping their beaks and scratching their pointy toes. Feathers began flying and my heart began hammering in my chest. I raced toward the bag of corn hoping to distract them with a snack.
They pecked at my feet and ankles as I reached into the bag, one tried to fly and hit me in the back, ripping my shirt with its nasty beak. I cried out and flung the corn onto the ground.
I had one moment of relief – a moment that was only me thinking I was safe. The chickens didn’t care about the corn. They ignored it. They kept pecking away at the fragile skin of my legs and feet. They didn’t seem to know what they were doing – only trying to satisfy their hunger.
They were hungry but not for feed. For me.
They were zombie chickens. I was going to get pecked to death by these nasty little creatures. I had a vision of myself falling to the earth and them pecking out my eyes and scratching away my skin. The warm trickle of blood on my legs seemed to shake me out of my paralyzing fear.
I looked around.
I found a weapon.
It was a metal rake with a long wooden handle. I began swinging it. The chickens began flying.
“Take that you feathered freaks!”
I kept flinging them as I moved toward the door of the house. I would take my chances with the toilet snake over a pack of crazed zombie chickens any day.
I ran into the house taking the rake (now covered in feathers) with me. I slammed the door and sagged against it.
A hissing sound brought my head up. There was no longer one toilet snake…. There were ten. And with them was an angry Emu that was growling….
I screamed. And screamed. And screamed.
My eyes flew open and I sat up with force. I was in bed. The sheets were sticking to my sweat soaked skin. It had been a dream.
Just a dream. A nightmare.
That was the last time I eat a meatball sub before bed. After my heart rate returned to normal I climbed out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. Once there I stood for a nano - second before switching on the light and staring down into the empty toilet. It was safe to pee.
Once my task was complete I left the bathroom, going back out into the bedroom… I would just peek outside to see what the chickens were doing…
I never made it to the window.
An emu taller than me was in the center of the bedroom and it was growling.
Now wasn't that a charming little story folks?
Okay now what you all have been waiting for and the reason many of you came to my blog today. The Giveaway!
I am lucky to be able to offer you fine people a spectacular prize pack. You can enter to win a signed copy of Masquerade, a bookmark and key chain. Sound good? Wait there is more. Cambria also brought along a whistle necklace, for those of you who have read the book you will understand the meaning of the whistle. Here is a picture of the loot!
Pretty good stuff right? Well now you have to enter to win! So fill out the rafflecopter form make sure to follow the directions! Contest ends December 28,2011. I will email the winning entrant within 48 hours at the end of the contest. Contest open to U.S. residents 13 and older (international followers and I am so sorry there will hopefully be one more international giveaway at the end of the tour) see Contest Policies for all the details.
One final shout out to the ladies in the Bookspark Masquerade buddy read. You girls, (Lila, Veronica, Ana, Ali, Danielle, Becca, Michele, Alexandra and Stephanie)are amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book with you! Veronica thanks for helping me with the zombie chicken!a Rafflecopter giveaway